This is bad, this is bad, this is bad.
So PTM was like yesterday, and so utterly disappointing as well. Level position dropped by 16, class position was like.... oh well. I know, maybe I can't compare class position like this, cause it's a new class blah blah blah. But what about level position? ): I hope this will kinda motivate me for end of years, you know, Cheryl can do it :)

So much for the start of school holidays. A very very packed one. As per normal, packed with homework. With tuition. And yes, outings! But no, no oversea-ing this time. It doesn't means I won't have fun though!

I seriously don't know how to go on anymore.....




And so, i'll end off here. Bye :)

'Cause I'm feeling lost
When I'm in your arms
The reasons are gone
For why I was holding on to you
I tried so hard
To be the one
I don't like who I've become

I kept my mouth shut for too long
Now I know that it was wrong

I wish I told you from the start
That this was never meant to last
We should've never gone this far

-the veronicas.

" you'll only move on, once your heart finally understands, that yesterday remains yesterday and it'll not be the same again."

And so, how's life?
I don't like how we have to continue studying just after examinations and don't even have a week of break. You know, when you're not in a mood to do something, you can't do it well. You're there but your heart and soul is somewhere else. No point, no point :)

And here i am, spending my awesome Sunday on circle properties. I know i love a-math, but... How sad, secondary 3 life. The best part is, mid years ain't exactly over cause we're gonna have english and chinese oral. How fun? not at all. So, my point is, this sucks. Simple. I haven't been to the theater just yet though i have at least 3 shows in mind now. I'm in the dilemma on saving at least 25 bucks, maybe? On shopping or the movies. hmmm.

Because i'm feeling retarded, to buy a dkny bag* that cost me a bomb, that i think now looks like any normal bag. It's not pretty cause the pink is out of stock. But it's still pretty. But I love it. Yes, i am psycho-ing myself. Maybe i shouldn't be so impulsive next time. But hey, it's already the last piece, what can I do? Huh? Alright. so in total, 2 days' spending as overshot. No more shopping till gss, no more shopping till gss, no more shopping till gss. At least, i settled a dress for aunt's wedding day. Nothing classical can fit me, so depressing, haha.

Over the weekends, i got a new school bag too. I can't stand people having exactly what i have on my bag with the same bag in total. Sorry to say, i know, i know that it's not wrong or not a sin or a crime, but i seriously just dislike it. Why does weekend pass so fast? I'm tired, i need more time to rest and do stuff. Just one day at my own pace would be awesome. And also, to hang around with my fabulous horde of friends, nice :) Just sit and chat, you won't be surprise how much things you can blabber about and the time just past like that.

PTM's on Thursday, though i am pretty much relaxed over it, but still wonder what the teachers are gonna' say. Nothing negative? Something positive. It'd be an eye-opener to me, knowing that there's so much more in life, rather than fml-ing. Y'know, everything else out there. It's hard, but not impossible.



Where am I? lost deep in thoughts. Oh yes, time to go back on social studies and a-math. see'ya.
*apologize if you're thinking that i'm such a show-off, but this is my diary, my memories :)

What's up with people man? Why must some of them be so demoralizing, so insulting.
Like dad. To be honest, yes, i know some of my results were disappointing, atrocious and horrible. But instead of encouraging, he went just like i can't make it in the future. Doesn't means I failed my physics now, i'm going to fail forever in my whole life. Thanks alot, DAD. Thanks for being so realistic that being my father you wouldn't even give me a word of encouragement and just be so blunt like that.

Well for the fact, I'm gonna prove you, all of you. That you are wrong, in your face. And no, i don't do this to please the world or dad or anybody. I don't live for anyone, mind you. I freaking live for myself. Though my subjects like my chemistry, physics and english weren't very good next time, i'll work hard. For the fact that I know i'm flunking my physics and chem, but i don't know why, when i got back my results, my heart just shattered. My english too.

This June holidays, I promise :)

People change and things change. I shifted my mind and my attention to rubbish that clogged my mind. So dumb. I'll get my priorities right. Not thinking about other stuff anymore. This is freaking ruining me, ruining my life. I'd get it right.

I'm tired now, like both mentally and physically worn out. So I guess I'd stop here. And to end it off...


Beaunice, you're still awesome! Thanks too, minjun, for like attempting to cheer me up because of the shitty marks i got. it's the most retarded method though!

Bye.

It's just the first day after examinations, and hereby, i am declaring that i'm freaking bored. Bored to tears! )': I know, I can't believe examinations are over too. But you know, it's very effed up on Saturday nights being a couch potato and the best part is, there's nothing nice on the teevee. Great. I could have been on the streets of Orchard or at the esplanade, or movie theater with Lina, minjun, or some people. Well, at least not at home rotting!

Maybe I'll be doing the same tomorrow. Gosh. But at least, I'm awaiting for Monday to come. Marking day, another day of holiday! Beaunice is coming over and we're gonna have fun! Right right?! Thanks to the fact, I also packed my room till it's so unbelievable neat :D And now, i feel like eating Ben and Jerry's all of a sudden. I don't know why.

Okay so, first i googled 'thing to do when you're bored'. It's really ridiculous though.
from: http://www.urban75.org/useless/bored.html

So here we go,
Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message (perhaps that funny shape is saying, 'send all your money to urban75.com'?)

See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

Pretend you're a robot
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment.

Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

Rate passers by
(Amusement Potential: 10-15 minutes)
Secretly award passers by marks out of ten as you go along, offering (unsaid) expert criticism over their clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

Pinch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Make Star Trek door noises
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
Stand by an electric door to a bank or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").

Invent a weird twitch
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.

Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work? <- I LIKE THIS BEST!

Okay, and after all. I mean, i didn't even tried anything on the list cause it's really... really... -insert word-. So I tried finding a new blog skin. But hell, i felt so bored, again, after 5 minutes.

Adding on, i am hungry now. Like sudden. And i remember i Beaunice was asking me to watch 'date night'. I'll try to find something to do. I'm not gonna waste half of my life doing nothing! Go cheryl go :D

 And yes this. Shift your eyes to the mini trolleh! 

Oh Hi anyways.
I know, i am saying 'hi' at the end of the post. But whatever. Bye!

It's an undeniable joy that examinations are finally over. Well, for almost all. This whole week had been seriously hell. Seriously serious. Days after days, trying to be motivated to have at least the last chance to fix things right, but no. Sometimes I even felt like giving up. And yes, it sucks totally, I was and is still currently am lack of beauty sleep. Worst part is, eyebags and pimples.

Examinations this time was REALLY(emphasizing the really) challenging. How I should put it, uhmmm, I think I screwed a few of my papers. Especially my sciences. Screw pure subjects. I'd be jumping with joy if my report book doesn't state a 'F9'. And the weather those days weren't even cooperating at all, so screw you too, weather!

For now, I'm unprepared of knowing my oh-so-awesome results. I need to distress! If there's such thing as to upgrade memory space in brain, i do need 'em, cuz my brain is overloaded. And for the distressing part, I went shopping with Gerlissa, Minjun and Lina @ 313. Shopping, one of the best methods for ladies to distress! You know, i know, we all know. But we had a lot of fun too, didn't we? :) Ahhh, i love you all!

I'm also excited, yet not very excited for holidays. Contradicting, i know. But i'm looking forward to the trip to universal studios and great singapore sales, and 2 diligence's gathering, and and meet ups! And well, the not-very-look-forwards are supplementary, homework, and tuition. Citing from this mid-years, i really do need to buck up.

bye to the world!

(L)


Life is made up of a little stress, a little disappointment, a little failure so that there will be success, a little unhappiness, a little hopelessness sometimes arguments, and a little tears, sometimes you may even feel that the world's against you; things that does not kill, it makes you stronger.


I may be bad at life. I may suck at living. Sometimes, I get confused between right and wrong. Sometimes I get stuck between the dark and the good side. I know I may be weird, I don't fancy things typical girls go crazy about. But that's what I'm made of. Me.




Gosh. I am gonna be free in a weeks' time. It's time to save up for GSS this June hols. Ain't you just so excited! Imagine the fun we're all gonna have, the big load of burden off our shoulders, we can jump around, laugh around and have fun for the whole day! Well at least, for now till end of years.

But for now, concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate. concentrate.

Just for a week. Missed a lot of physics lessons already, arghz. And I just realised how my chemistry can suck, when the weather's such a killer and we have to withstand it while being in such a sleepy state doing mock examination. It sucks, the feeling sucks! Then again, it's reminding me that there's so much more to revise. So much more to go! Math's been my boyfriend recently, I've been with it for like everyday. Thanks for the motivation, puny! Don't worry, I won't die. :)

Something that made up my day. I didn't know I had a chinese birthday for the past 15 years of my life till like today. Mom bought home a cake, and wished me in school. ♥
 
(L) Lina and puny and 2dil'09. I've really awesome friends around me. nothing can get better than this!

seey'all.